Do you ever wonder why me? I do, all the time. Why do I have to be the one to suffer? Why am I the one with a lack of energy? Will I ever have the energy that I used to? It seems like such a big request. I never realized or appreciated the ability to get up and go about the day like a normal person. I ask myself how it was ever possible for me to go to school full time. Its been so long (almost 2 years because of mono) since school full time has been an option and even thinking about it is exhausting!
I have always pushed myself to the limits, so learning when to stop or slow down hasn't been easy for me. When I go too far, I pay a price. I finished taking my GED on Saturday and I am paying for it now. I was already knocked down from the activity of thanksgiving break. My weekly IV helped enough that I was able to finish, (yay!) but it was not easy! Dang, I forgot how much these crashes suck!! Its been awhile since I've suffered from one like this. I'm currently curled in a blanket with Sofie because moving to the couch would take too much energy; Maybe I'm lazy... or maybe I'm sick, I don't know the difference. My focus is slowly slipping away from me and my head feels fuzzy from the concentration. I can't really describe the feeling, but I think this is how my little brother feels when he's doing homework and I can now understand how much harder school is for him than it has ever been for me.
Well, I was just having one of those days where I don't know what to do and I was asking whyyyy meeeee?!?! la la la I'm having a bit of trouble remembering what else I was going to say. But hey I'm taking English next semester and I finished taking the GED tests! I am waiting for the writing scores but I passed everything else and even got a perfect score on Reading! So on the positive side, things are getting better. :)
